Probably each of us has ever seen girls with short haircuts, cigarettes in their hands and swearing like real boys. Unpleasant picture, right? What feelings do these persons evoke in you? I think it's not worth talking about positive emotions. Society called these "girls" boys. To be a kid, you do not have to drink, smoke and swear. It is enough to behave accordingly, to be rude and masculine. With such girls, guys prefer to be friends than to meet. If you are like that, or if you’re just curious to know in what ways I changed my life, as well as myself, then you are at the right place. Yes, yes, what’s ironic here, I was like that too. I didn’t drink or smoke, but I behaved extremely defiantly, didn’t have special manners, cursed and dressed to match my “image”. But one day, I saw something similar on the street (I looked at myself from the outside) and I felt incredibly ashamed and at the same time disgusting for myself. Since then I have given myself the installation that I will change. At that time, I still broke up with my young man and probably, like most girls after breaking up, I set myself the goal of becoming better. And now, what has happened in my life for the last 6 months .. Dear girls who want to change their lives and become feminine and cute, take notepads or just remember the tips below. this is for you
1. We change the image.
First you need to work on your appearance and style. What do you have in your closet? Millions of hoodies, frayed jeans and sneakers? STOP! Change your wardrobe! It would not be unusual for you, but skirts and dresses, ballet shoes and boots, handbags and accessories must appear in your closet. These are all the main attributes of a real lady. Believe me, but I, a man who did not take off his jeans, completely abandoned them! It's already 6 months since my friends see me in skirts, blouses and dresses. And only recently I came across an article by Olga Valyaeva: “The Purpose of Being a Woman”, and the flash mob “The Year Without Trousers” held by her. This article will also be useful for those who have embarked on the path of correction.
Have you ever seen a lady with peeling nails and an untidy hairstyle? I think no. The time has come for transformations! Allow yourself to go to a beauty salon, tidy yourself up, your appearance. Indulge yourself with spa treatments, because the state of mind is also very important. Choose a hairstyle that is more suitable for your type of face. If you are new to this business, then you can ask for the help of professional stylists so that they pick up your image.
3.Now, when your appearance is put in order, it is worth taking care of the internal beauty. This item includes several small items:
1. We get rid of all bad habits. Such as: obscene expressions, the habit of biting nails, rude slang.
2. Circle of communication. Advice for those who have friends mainly consisting of boys, and if there are girls, then only those who are no different from guys. Try to make new friends. Totally parallel to yours. Make friends with cute, sensitive girls, lure their habits, manners. Consider this an experiment. It will bring you a lot of positive results.
3. Do not slouch! Work on your posture, try to wear a corset, walk straight and smoothly.
4. Find a new hobby. Sign up for dancing. Not hip hop and break dance, but something more tender. Tango for example. Or a ballet? Do not be afraid of something new, be prepared for significant changes and discoveries!
5. Go to the theater and read books. Broaden your horizons. Being a lady does not mean being only feminine. A lady should be educated as well.
6. Work on your manners. Replace "parasite words" with their counterparts. Instead of damn it, say hell. and so on..
7. Be polite. Do not be rude to your elders, say "thank you" and "please." Try not to find out the relationship with your ill-wishers, and if this happened, then try to solve everything without a mat and especially without fights.
These are all basic rules for those who want to change their lives for the better. Mine has already changed dramatically. Guys began to show interest in me, many girls wanted to be friends with me and I very often began to receive compliments addressed to me. Well, in the end, I just got better and I was able to change myself and my life in a good way! I hope that this article will help someone, and someone will just discover something new and interesting. And the last tip: Girls, be soft and gentle, so that you would like to be carried in your arms and give compliments, we are LADIES
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How will it look like?
Probably each of us has ever seen girls with short haircuts, cigarettes in their hands and swearing like real boys. Unpleasant picture, right? What feelings do these persons evoke in you? I think it's not worth talking about positive emotions. Society called these "girls" boys. To be a kid, you do not have to drink, smoke and swear. It is enough to behave accordingly, to be rude and masculine. With such girls, guys prefer to be friends than to meet.
I decide everything myself
You love making decisions, you love the position of a warrior, you cover up with the breast of the deprived and even make decisions for others. But here’s the problem: for some reason, all the normal guys with whom you find yourself in a relationship either initially behave like girls (they are naughty, offended and do not want to decide anything), or they gradually change their position to passive.
And in fact…
You simply have a control problem. And fortunately, it is completely asexual. You strive to make decisions for your boys just because you are afraid for the future: you think that without you it will be gloomy and unpromising. Leading your comrades and less fighting friends, you are trying to track the behavior of the whole party - so that something "such" does not happen. You must know where someone is and what he is doing at this moment - otherwise you lose the ground under your feet. In general, you are not a bomb, but just a little disturbing young lady.
- Start dealing with stress. Pay attention to nervous attacks, baseless anxiety and any other jitters that you are so actively hiding. Be aware of these sensations and explain to yourself logically that they have no basis underneath. Give arguments, weigh everything, think it over. Feel better soon.
- Revise your surroundings and the rhythm of life. This problem could appear because you are under constant stress. Plans fail, exams fail, relationships deteriorate, the bus leaves you from under your nose after a 40-minute wait ... You are worried and always find it in life. Maybe you should slow down?
- Think about what made you pick up the helm. Maybe some critical situation in which you were? For example, did you get to a desert island where you had to chop coconuts and hunt for gulls? Even if life has once set you up on the bandwagon, you need to recover from this.
In all the girl’s paraphernalia you feel out of place. You don’t like feminine clothes, when you were a child you tear off dolls' heads and take away cars from your younger brother, and now you cut your hair short and are on the university football team. It pisses you off when your mom says, “Take off these berets, you're a girl!” And Dad thinks that your dream of becoming a car mechanic (or, say, a boxer) is not a good idea. And everyone around endlessly repeats: “don’t do this”, “don’t do it”, “don’t wear it” ... And you like all these things so much!
Even if you get genuine pleasure from driving a motorcycle that is several times higher than the thrill of shopping, this is not the main problem. “Not friendship” with your gender is connected with the fact that you do not quite accept and understand yourself. This adds an unpleasant bonus in the form of incomprehensible parents and shocked friends who can’t put up with the fact that you are playing a “boy”. On the one hand, you try to attract attention by behavior that is not quite standard for a young lady, on the other hand, you don’t know what to do with this attention: after all, if you don’t understand yourself, then it will be difficult for society.
- Deal with your self-esteem. Your advantages are not equal to the number of goals scored, and the shaved nape of their head does not show them. You simply are not ready to love yourself for who you are, and "patsanstvo", unfortunately, will not help here.
- Accept the fact that a girl is an integral part of your personality. You are not familiar with this person yet, therefore you deny its undeniable, obvious qualities. Instead of declaring war on others, try to study yourself: understand your sincere feelings, desires and intentions, your weaknesses and strengths.
- You refer to the female gender a certain list of traits that you do not like. For example, it seems to you that femininity is necessarily weakness, gossip, stupidity, or something else like that. Build relationships with your friends and you will realize that the positive traits have no gender.
With a crown on his head
You very much strive for leadership, so many say that you "think like a man." In fact, you wear dresses and paint eyelashes, but you like to occupy a dominant position, lead others and see other people who fulfill your desires. For you, the commanding tone and persistent language is a way to show who is in charge. And, in principle, you are ready to defend your right to primacy over everyone who gets in your way: from friends to teachers, through guys, including parents.
You felt oppressed for a long time, and at some point you “rebelled” against external pressure. Result: your leadership has become too large, and now you can’t get used to the idea that someone else is able to command the parade. Your desire to be the most important and the very first is nothing but protection from the old and long-forgotten humiliation. You probably have the makings of a leader in you, but you put too much emphasis on them.
- Having developed the ability to withstand any troubles, use it wisely: only when it is really needed. A liberal attitude will make you popular in a party, and undeniable leadership will come in handy more than once in critical life situations.
- Learn to be a leader for yourself: add your goals, break stereotypes, fight laziness, conquer weaknesses. Irrepressible energy can be sent in the right direction: for example, for self-development.
A few words about the origin of gender snobbery
An interesting fact, but through children's literature and cartoons, girls are taught from the diaper age to a supporting role. It is proved that only a tenth of human characters and one hundredth of animal heroes are female, which artificially reduces the importance of the weaker half in the eyes of the girls themselves.
Growing up, the child begins to realize even deeper that gender equality, as such, does not exist. A girl working in the field of so-called female labor, or playing sports by her gender, receives less attention than the one who stepped over stereotypes and became “her own man” among men. The media and modern cinema only add confidence that, being feminine and fragile, the girl runs the risk of being crushed by life's difficulties and more resourceful personalities among her rivals.
It turns out that already from about 3-4 years of age, society has veiledly invites the girl to accept the social role of behavior in terms of gender difference, which she considers convenient for herself. This explains the aggressiveness of very small persons who seek to establish themselves in the foreground in the children's team, as well as the unwillingness of an adult girl to change her behavior to her gender.
Who is a kid girl?
There are three main types of little girls who are not transitional or intermediate states, and exist as separate psychological orientations:
- "Masculine." These girls can be called "involuntarily little boys," because on the side of men they were persuaded not by a desire to excel, but by a clear hormonal disorder. Often they are good wives and mothers. Masculine girl-boys are unattractive in appearance, but it pays off by their coping and tolerance towards other people's shortcomings.
- "My boyfriend." This category of girls, for various reasons, deliberately abandoned the society of their gender. These people, as a rule, are very sexual and enjoy success among guys, however, they are rarely capable of serious relationships, and peer boys are more often perceived as comrades of their gender.
- "Aggressor". The rarest and “convinced” kind of masculine behavior that does not pass and does not change over the years. Men categorically do not perceive such women as love partners and are even afraid of them. "Aggressors" are always in the middle of fights and boyish showdowns, they listen to their opinion and often obey them.
With age, the attitude towards women who have adapted to male behavior in the opposite sex changes dramatically. A lady who has “played up” is looked upon with mockery, and society openly condemns her.
The goal of deviant behavior
Deviant (deviant) behavior of adolescents is always a protest against the system. Having ascertained from personal experience that it’s easier for the boy to achieve what he wants, and peer respect is guaranteed even in a situation where he would have laughed at the girl, the child begins first secretly and then openly declares his right to be who he wants. The purpose of constructing such a line of behavior is the need to prove superiority over your gender and achieve comrades high marks.
In an attempt to get away from her gender identity, the girl-kid abruptly rebuilds the whole model of the norm that she adopted earlier. A talented child begins to be ashamed of his exclusivity, a cultural one - he covers the beginnings of a good upbringing with abuse and aggression adopted by friends. Beautiful girls, boys, to prove that social concepts about appearance mean nothing to them, often begin to spoil themselves with piercings and tattoos.
Causes of abnormal family behavior
Often in the stories of girl-boys, the pedagogical influence of parents passes through the red thread, provoking the transformation of the girl into a guy with their behavior. This can happen, for example, if the family was very looking forward to the appearance of the boy and did not want to put up with the birth of a child of a different sex. From the very birth, the baby is raised as a boy and instilled in her the qualities inherent in a strong half of humanity.
Another common reason for the early formation of a "boyish" character in a girl is the unreasonable practicality of a father and mother with heterosexual children. Many parents do not consider it necessary to buy clothes or toys individually for each child, and the girl gets an “inheritance” in the form of baggage from the older brothers.
The lack of maternal love also leads to the fact that the girl gets used to fighting for attention and tries to stand out from the crowd to be noticed and appreciated. A girl who grew up without a mother does not have the necessary knowledge about the use of innate female qualities and uses those that are presented to her in graphic examples of her father, brothers or friends.
Why is the girl kid? The behavior of modern youth is partly dictated by fashion, partly by propaganda information about the education of feminist and other qualities that distort the role of men and women in society. In search of new solutions and ways to increase sales, various fashion houses vying to offer the girl to abandon her usual feminine image in favor of unisex style clothing.
Since things of this style are more convenient and universal (they can even be exchanged with your young man), the girls willingly compromise with nature and gradually completely “dress” as a boy. To maintain the style, the girls cut their hair short, stop applying makeup and using perfumes.
Changes that take place externally cannot but affect the thinking of the young person - she becomes more relaxed and less restrained in words and desires.
Psychological Aspects of Behavioral Change
From the point of view of psychology, girl-boys form their own image and behavior model under the influence of five main factors, which are the result of a rethinking of the previously accepted values. It:
- The opportunity to get rid of the stereotype of “cook and mistress” in return for receiving in the relationship that freedom of action that is attributed to the male sex.
- Dissatisfaction with the general position of women in society: lower pay, difficulties in finding a job, etc.
- An internal protest against the system, the desire to stand out from the gray mass and be a "star" in your micro-community. Сюда же относится нежелание соответствовать общему ожиданию («Все девочки носят платья? А я буду ходить в брюках!»).
- Подражание авторитетной личности (актрисе, подруге, вымышленному герою).
- Ради внимания противоположного пола и желания приблизиться к «запретному плоду».
Последний аспект редко присутствует в жизни девушки длительный период. As a rule, when a girl’s curiosity is satisfied or her love for a boy, who is part of the company, disappears, she returns to her usual style and behavior.
Are there any pluses?
There are quite a few guys who are attracted by girls-boys because of their ambiguity, but we are not talking about people who lead over-aggressive activities or often change partners. On the contrary, the more puzzles, inaccessibility and hidden female energy remain in a friend, even if her usual clothes are jeans and a sweatshirt, the more she attracts men.
What may be interesting for this type of girls for young people:
- girls-boys have a good sense of humor and are not offended by other people's jokes,
- they don’t take offense,
- they are mostly smart, and in order to interest such a person, you yourself need to “intellectually pump up”,
- boys can support any male topic, and they are really well versed in many "non-female" issues,
- such girls value friendship, are not touchy, are condescending to other people's flaws,
- they are sexy, but do not demonstrate this, which increases their rating compared to ordinary girls.
In addition, as men assure, girls-boys of all types, if not completely independent, then strive for this with all their might. Having preserved the ideals of the male model of behavior after reaching adulthood, they responsibly approach the choice of a future profession and achieve great success in the labor field.
How to become a girl from a kid?
With age, a girl may begin to be constrained by her image: there will be a need for a “man’s shoulder” or she will simply find herself in a public vacuum and it will be necessary to restore lost connections. In any case, she will not succeed in changing in one day - it will take time, and, very importantly, support for loved ones whose opinion the kid could trust.
At the very beginning of the path to a new girl, it’s better to keep a diary where she could mark all the difficulties that are overcome, make plans for the future, create motivational notes. The diary can be divided into sections "Before" and "After". In the first part, the girl describes her current state, the fears associated with future changes, and the incentives that push her to an important step. The second part will be created gradually, as you move towards the goal.
How to turn from a kid into a girl in the classical sense of the word? It will take a lot of steps to this, but conditionally the whole transformation can be divided into three important stages.
The most difficult phase of the transformation is a real look at oneself from the side, as if someone critical, watching the girl all day. This step can be called psychologically traumatic, since the young lady was used to perceiving herself through the prism of her own norms and habits, and another point of view was unacceptable to her for a long time.
If a girl does not trust her own conclusions, then it is better to ask for help. Usually, even distant close friends willingly make contact when they hear a recognition of their innocence and a request to express a sincere opinion. In this case, the girl does not have to completely justify their expectation and become the standard of someone else's idea of femininity. She has her own parameters of perfection, which must be achieved, and in response to a proposal to further promote the magical transformation, she is better off responding with a polite rejection.
Change of image and behaviors
The concept of "image change" includes several aspects at once:
- elaboration of the future image in detail,
- complete replacement of the wardrobe - from underwear to shoes,
- visit to the cosmetology center and hairdresser,
- the reformation of the dwelling - the apartment or room of the girl so that all traces of the “non-female” past disappear.
As a rule, all girl boys with short hair. To change the style dramatically, the hair will have to be grown and, in addition, learn to use decorative cosmetics. A lot of problems cause girls and the inability to conduct small talk, not sprinkled with obscenities and slang expressions.
Circle of friends
Sometimes it seems to a girl that going through the first two stages to return to her natural state and gain public recognition is quite enough, but this is self-deception. Continuing to communicate with the former company, where she was known as “her boyfriend”, she will never be able to achieve the ideal level that she set for herself. Therefore, community members and their ideas will have to say goodbye forever.
Let former friends remain good friends, but the formation of a new “environment” should be consistent with the goal.
One of the main conditions before starting to plan decisive changes in your life is your own desire for change. If efforts are made only at the insistence of the parents or the young person, it is unlikely that the process will be completed to the end, and the effectiveness of the actions taken will be very low.